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I’ve had one too many bad relationships before and each relationship lasted for years. I stayed in the relationship because I felt like I owe it to the lengthiness. No matter how unhealthy the relationship was I still chose to stay because the anniversary is in a couple of months so it’ll be a total waste to throw all of it away.

But you see, I didn’t really threw anything worthy away, in fact I actually helped myself by getting out of the relationship.

I don’t know if it’s just me but I kinda felt like people in relationships view length as a milestone, which was also true for me before. I also looked at lengths as a milestone. That isn’t really an issue if your relationship is thriving and you’re both growing together. But if you’re staying because you’ve been in this relationship for a long time even though it’s really not working anymore, you might need to rethink your relationship.

Maybe you’re just in a relationship rut that you’re gonna surpass or maybe you won’t. Either way, the lengthiness of your relationship shouldn’t be the number one determining factor for your to decision to stay.

It’s great when you surprise each other on your anniversary or you exchange gifts from time to time. It’s a sweet gesture but if you do this to atone the totality of your rather empty relationship, it’s just sad. It’s like on special days you are on the extremes of your happiness but on normal regular days, it’s just arguments and disappointments.. I seriously don’t see why you still want to be in that relationship.

It’s like being very happy on your anniversary day but the following day? You’re back to being distant, cold and indifferent with each other. What’s. The. Point?

I’d rather choose not celebrating Valentine’s day but having a healthy relationship than being surprised on the day but after that you’re back to the usual trivial and pointless everyday arguments.

How about you take a look at your relationship and celebrate the quality? It doesn’t matter if you are together for only a month or for ten years. From now on, celebrate milestones such as being more patient or understanding or if you decided to stop nagging, you can celebrate about that as well. Never mind the length, celebrate milestones that are worthwhile and contributes positively to the relationship.

No more anniversaries, weeksaries or monthsaries. From now on, celebrate quality.


25 thoughts on “Why You Should Celebrate Quality And Not Length In Your Relationship”

  1. I feel you! I went through a 7-year long relationship myself with a man I refused to marry in the end. I regretted those wasted years, sticking around for reasons that were really inconsequential. I’d hate to see any of my single friends or nieces go through the same thing now, misguided and disillusioned. I tell them that if they do not see themselves getting married in a year or two, they should not even think about going into courtship at all, plus they should have a list of negotiables and non-negotiables (godly qualities) when looking for a life partner… Of course, it’s an entirely different thing when one’s married. You and your spouse just have to make things work by God’s grace 😉

  2. I agree with you at some point. I know some people who were in a relationship that lasted for 4-7 years and ended breaking up and parting ways like all the years they’ve spent together with their ex-loved-ones don’t matter anymore. And then they’ve met another one and in less than 3 years they got married and now living a happy life together… Length of relationships doesn’t really matter. It’s the quality. The happiness it brings you. The joy it puts into your heart. Kahit pa 10 years na kayong together, kung puro heartaches naman as in 80% of the time umiiyak ka, why would you stay, diba? Life’s short. Let’s choose to be happy diba? And to be happy is also to be in a healthy relationship. A relationship that brings out the best in you. 🙂

  3. Totally agree with you. It’s not about how long you have been together. It’s all about the quality of the relationship and the people you are with. No matter how hard the situations are. If the person wants to be with you. He/She will compromise and mend things up. #hugot

  4. Not being married myself, I think quality relationships go hand in hand with the length as well. I see anniversaries as milestones in itself, not just a one day celebration, rather a milestone that another year has past without killing each other (to put it lightly 😀 ) and making couples look forward to another year of growing together. 🙂

  5. I agree with what you said, why stay in a long relationship if you’re not happy already. 🙂
    I actually don’t like celebrating monthsaries, though my husband and I do celebrate our anniversaries that we mostly forget unfortunately. Hehe!

  6. My husband and I still greet each other every 8th of the month and celebrate our anniversary. There’s something about being remembered by your partner on dates that are special to both of you. But you’re right of course. Quality over quantity. Couples can celebrate anniversaries to look back how far they’ve gone, the milestones, and dream of more anniversaries in the future 🙂

  7. I personally think that every new day with people important to you is a cause for celebration. Celebration though needs not to be extravagant or expensive.

  8. I had the same mindset as well during my first relationship, pero thankfully I had the courage to let go. Now with hubby, we still celebrate anniversaries although budget friendly, and yes, I agree to quality 😉

  9. Though it’s not that applicable to me because I’ve known my husband since high school, I agree with Quality > Quantity. I guess we just have to define what makes a good quality relationship more accurately.

  10. I agree. I celebrate weekly or daily victories in relationships. We honestly rarely have anniversary specials because we feel love is celebrated every day instead of once a yr. The quality and not the length in relstionship matters a lot. 🙂

  11. I really can’t understand why people stay in a relationship for a long period of time but there’s no love involve. I totally agree with you that we should make relationship work and celebrate love over length of being together.

  12. “From now on, celebrate quality.”

    I used to be a sucker for monthsaries and anniversaries. I still do actually, but it really is important to celebrate the quality and depth of any relationship than just making it look so special for other people’s pleasure. Thanks for this heartfelt entry. I felt like my heart was speaking the same words.

  13. I agree mommy,but for me na sasainyo din kung paano nyo pahahalagahan yung bawat araw na magkasama kyo,yung healthy relationship nyo ba para mapanatili yun sa bawat isa.hindi lang din dahil sa isang araw na celebration mo sya pahahalagahan dapat pati na din sa araw araw na magkasama kayong dalawa.

  14. I agree. Although I still like to celebrate the years too. Maybe I’m just lucky that even though we faced many challenges, we chose not to give up on each other. We’ll celebrate our 12 years of being married next month, kaya gusto ko parin mag-celebrate kasi naka-set na lahat 🙂 Have a great day sis.

  15. I agree with your thoughts. Before my husband and I got married, we never celebrated “monthsaries” we were so busy preparing for our married life that we skipped those celebrations. But, we still celebrate Wedding anniversaries.

  16. It’s always quality over quantity, may it be in relationships or even materials things. We don’t celebrate Valentines’ day too, we can celebrate love whole year round hehe.

  17. I understand now. And it truly makes sense. Minsan we tend to just fight for the relationship because of the length. But as youve explained it, di pala dapat. Something I should have done a long time.ago – end a not so worthy relationship because of hinayang.lang sa tagal.

  18. I respect your view on it and I totally agree that couples should give value to the quality of the relationship . But we believe in also celebrating our years together. In fact, we just celebrated 13 years of marriage, 17 years of togetherness and friendship, and 19 years of knowing each other. 🙂 We celebrate it not because we were strong together, but because of God’s faithfulness to us and our family throughout all these years.

  19. It is true that quality trumps length of relationship, in some cases though both weigh the same. I think this is true especially if you’ve gotten to know a person well because of the years you’ve been together. 🙂

  20. Your point is very valuable and I appreciate your honesty. It’s hard to be trapped in a relationship that leaves you drained, unhappy and alone. SO what’s the point of staying if you cannot see things eye to eye or have grown tired of each other’s negativity. Now, what if they are married- I suggest get a divorce or file an annulment but this shouldn’t be done hastily.

  21. I am all for celebrating the little milestones and what truly matters in a relationship. It is not really in the length of time you have been together but the quality of how you work as a team and how you complement each other. It is the quality of time you are willing to spend with and on your partner that counts not the amount of time you actually spend on them.

    Cheers to celebrating quality relationships regardless of how short you have been together!

  22. Me and my partner don’t usually celebrate our anniversaries. But I must agree with you that its not on the years of being together but its on the memories of what you had and how you value each other.

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