I’ve had one too many bad relationships before and each relationship lasted for years. I stayed in the relationship because I felt like I owe it to the lengthiness. No matter how unhealthy the relationship was I still chose to stay because the anniversary is in a couple of months so it’ll be a total waste to throw all of it away.
But you see, I didn’t really threw anything worthy away, in fact I actually helped myself by getting out of the relationship.
I don’t know if it’s just me but I kinda felt like people in relationships view length as a milestone, which was also true for me before. I also looked at lengths as a milestone. That isn’t really an issue if your relationship is thriving and you’re both growing together. But if you’re staying because you’ve been in this relationship for a long time even though it’s really not working anymore, you might need to rethink your relationship.
Maybe you’re just in a relationship rut that you’re gonna surpass or maybe you won’t. Either way, the lengthiness of your relationship shouldn’t be the number one determining factor for your to decision to stay.
It’s great when you surprise each other on your anniversary or you exchange gifts from time to time. It’s a sweet gesture but if you do this to atone the totality of your rather empty relationship, it’s just sad. It’s like on special days you are on the extremes of your happiness but on normal regular days, it’s just arguments and disappointments.. I seriously don’t see why you still want to be in that relationship.
It’s like being very happy on your anniversary day but the following day? You’re back to being distant, cold and indifferent with each other. What’s. The. Point?
I’d rather choose not celebrating Valentine’s day but having a healthy relationship than being surprised on the day but after that you’re back to the usual trivial and pointless everyday arguments.
How about you take a look at your relationship and celebrate the quality? It doesn’t matter if you are together for only a month or for ten years. From now on, celebrate milestones such as being more patient or understanding or if you decided to stop nagging, you can celebrate about that as well. Never mind the length, celebrate milestones that are worthwhile and contributes positively to the relationship.
No more anniversaries, weeksaries or monthsaries. From now on, celebrate quality.